Black and White and Green
by MisterCrazyUpstairs
Summary: Two-Face has lost the excitement of the chase, but Riddler helps him re-find it. SLASH. Mostly PWP with a hint of the beloved Eddie humor. Riddler/Two-Face.


"They shouldn't be far behind now," Edward said, readjusting himself in his seat from glancing out the back window of their armoured truck. Even having just said the words, Two Face could hear the distant wailing of police cars not far off. It wouldn't take long for them to be seeing in the technicolored strobes of red and blue.

"And how long until The Bat reaches us?" he asked with vehemence.

"I'd give or take a few." The Riddler responded, smiling darkly at the other man. "It's a busy night here in Gotham."

At that the Two Face had to let out a chortle. "You'd think our old pal would have the decency for us. What else could he possibly be doing? Jerking off? Ever since Joker's been in the pen Gotham has been quieter than Selina's place."

Riddler purred seductively and Two Face spared him a glance. His partner in crime was busy trying to be seductive in the passenger seat, and Two Face was having trouble keeping both hands on the wheel. The cop cars were getting close, but not close enough.

With one eye still trained on his lover, Two Face coughed his hoarse throat and directed his eyes to the road. "This job has gotten too easy. Where's the chase? Where's the punch?"

"Riddle me this..." Edward began, oblivious to the other man's groans. After a second's hesitation he concluded with, "We've gotten too good."

The two lapsed into silence, aside from the crying cars that they still couldn't see as they raced back to their hideout. _They haven't even got us a chopper_, Two Face thought. _Are Gotham's banks and assets no longer a priority in this damn city? What does it take to get a real go at the fun stuff again?_

"Slow down." Edward said suddenly, lunging for the stick shift and putting it in reverse.

"Eddie—what the hell?" In his defense, rounding a corner in reverse wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do. "Jesus Christ Ed! You've finally gone off the deep end—"

"Shut up." Edward said, kissing the man quickly as he shifted back in drive. By now the coppers were only a streetlight away and Two Face floored it as soon as he had the all-clear.

"What the hell was that?"

"You want exciting. Here's exciting." Ed said. "And mind the road."

Two Face barely had time to feel sceptical before he felt a cold hand on his thigh through his trousers. His mind was buzzing and his body was pulsing with adrenaline. Edward's hand felt like it was burning him through and through, like tiny white pin-pricks on his leg. The hand seemed to move teasingly slower, as their car moved ever faster. It made his head spin while the strobes were flashing in his mind.

"Eddie..." he moaned, the sound being pulled from somewhere deep in his throat. His eyes flickered and shut but the hand stopped and he wrenched them opened again. He was an expert driver, did Riddler seriously think he'd crash them? No? He looked into the bright eyes of the smaller man and saw complete trust. But he also saw that look. The look that Riddler always gave him seconds before the best fuck of his life. He was seductive and manipulative and he was the sexiest creature alive.

"Eyes on the road." Ed mouthed, and Two Face reluctantly pulled them away from Edward's lips, looking up just as shots began to fire at them. Edward let out a noise of his own before palming the bulge in his counterpart's pants, and pulling another moan from them both.

Bullets ricocheted off the side of the car, not leaving but a scratch on the exterior. The night suddenly felt alive, when moments before it'd been dead as a doornail. Each upcoming intersection held a new set of police cars that wouldn't—couldn't—catch them if they tried. And before they knew it, Two Face and Riddler would be at home, without ever once having spotted The Bat. And he had so been looking forward to it.

The long-fingered, peachy hand tugged lightly at the zipper on Two Face's trousers, and pulled it down, down, down. His heart was pounding in his throat and palms, waiting for what was to come.

"Damn it." He cursed, thrusting into the hand that now enclosed him. Edward wrapped tightly around his length at once, discouraging any more movement. Two Face tried thrusting again but this time it swerved the car ever so slightly. The other man released, as if to say, "If you won't wait." Two Face quickly reciprocated by forcing both knuckle-white fists on the steering wheel and two pupil-blown eyes on the street, laden with cars so willing to rush out of their way.

Riddler resumed his grasp, and this time let his tongue flick out to touch. All Two Face could think was, _The cops are getting closer_. His brain seemed to have short-circuited. He couldn't much comprehend his actions.

"Fuck," he spit out as their truck side swiped another oncoming vehicle. Eddie pushed himself forward, and before he could think another second he was embedded deep in his lover's throat. And it felt so good. Little pieces of heaven that just happened to be his. Good things certainly did come to bad people. And liked every wicked second of it.

With enough will-power to even outweigh Batman, Two Face didn't screw up his eyes. He didn't tangle a hold in Edward's sleek black hair, and didn't fuck his face with all the force he had. He certainly didn't run into another car, or building, and he didn't loosen his foot on the pedal. If anything, he increased their speed as he felt himself coming closer and closer to climax.

He felt lightheaded. And then he thought, _Our turn's coming up_. Their hideout. No Batman. Stupid, evadable police. Nothing. Quiet. Edward. Coming.

Grunting fiercely, he came deep in Riddler's mouth, the latter doing the best not to ruin both of their suits. He caught most of the thick, ropey seed, but Two Face wasn't paying much attention as the sudden onslaught of stars clouded his vision. Hoping this was their turn, he cut sharply into the open garage he figured was theirs. And it was.

Letting the gas go, and ramming into the concrete wall, he listened to the wail of sirens pass as he came down from his high.

"Riddle me this..."

Eddie let go of the limp dick in his hand and coddled up to Two Face's side as close as he could get. Two Face looked back down at the smiling face of his lover and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, tasting himself there.

"What's black and white and green all over?"

"Zebra throwing up." Two Face huffed, trying to feign annoyance, but instead feeling the most exhilarated he had in a long time.

"Harvey Dent fucking Edward Nigma."

Feeling the smart-ass remark on his tongue, Two Face said, "But wouldn't we take off our suits?"

"Shut up." Was the reply.

End.


End file.
